Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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