Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
her facebook's as public as her vagina
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Found the puke drawer
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
