Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
