Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
