Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
