Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
