just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
