hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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