I feel like abortions should bother me more
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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