These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize
