Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
