i may or may not be watching the land before time
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
