I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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