It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
