my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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