There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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