I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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