Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
