Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
