the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Randomize
