Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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