he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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