Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
