I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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