I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Randomize
