Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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