She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
