yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
