I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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