i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
