Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
