new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
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