He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
