remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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