im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
