they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
