Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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