ADVERTISEMENT

• (618): View more from Illinois

  here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...

  Fav 37 4010 1260

  share tweet
  

• (806): View more from Texas

  We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.

  Fav 11 6795 1636

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (330): View more from Ohio

  apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about

  Fav 12 5833 1635

  share tweet
  

• (917): View more from New York City

  The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.

  Fav 5 3494 1229

  share tweet
  

• (352): View more from Florida

  Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.

  (352): View more from Florida

  And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.

  Fav 8 5431 1470

  share tweet
  

• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time

  Fav 11 3715 1425

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (307): View more from Wyoming

  I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.

  Fav 2 1202 1222

  share tweet
  

• (541): View more from Oregon

  I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men

  Fav 14 1262 2156

  share tweet
  

• (818): View more from California

  the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes

  Fav 2 1329 719

  share tweet
  

• (212): View more from New York

  80% sure the drag queens carried her home

  Fav 0 865 491

  share tweet
  

• (775): View more from Nevada

  he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever

  Fav 4 438 1043

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (732): View more from New Jersey

  I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.

  Fav 0 683 356

  share tweet
  

• (870): View more from Arkansas

  I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT

  Fav 0 252 531

  share tweet
  

• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.

  Fav 0 286 164

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (214): View more from Texas

  Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"

  Fav 0 106 72

  share tweet
  

Randomize