Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
