you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
