hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
then he tried to convert me to islam
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
