Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
