If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
