I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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