her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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