Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
