If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
there is glitter all over my balls
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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