Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
