I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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