Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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