'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
