Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
